Pickup lines to score you hot Catalan girls


Hotass Catalan girls scared the bejesus out of Picasso.
Hotass Catalan girls scared the bejesus out of Picasso.
Hotass Catalan girls scared the bejesus out of Picasso.

The world’s sexiest women are Catalan. They’re gorgeous, laid back, kinda grungy, and infinitely sweet.* So what do you gotta do to bang, smooch, or marry one?

Former dictator Francisco Franco has inadvertently given us a leg up, with the collective mindfuck he caused by banning the region’s language. Today’s Catalans get very excited about foreigners who take the trouble to learn it. And if you don’t have time to master the mother tongue of these 11.5 million hotties, you should at least learn some toasts and the following pickup lines to try on any cute Catalans who cross your path.

An obvious warning: do not use these lines if you are actually Catalan. As we noted in France, using a pickup line in your own language is a dubious move. A foreigner struggling through such a cheesy line, however, is endearing; he or she shows wit, irony, and a winning effort at cultural awareness.

So here they are, Catalonia’s classic, panty-dropping best:

Estudies o treballes? — So, do you work or study?

Vols fer un clau, noia? — Wanna put a nail in it, babe?

* Catalan girls quite nearly destroy their inimitable sexiness with haircuts ranging from dorky short bangs to full-on mullets. If you can manage to overlook the hair, and possibly also the brightly colored, low-crotch saggy pants they love to wear (known popularly as pantalons cagats, or shitted pants), you’ll surely agree with the premise of this post.

 

Note for Catalan readers

Check out blogger El Rat, who has translated parts of this post (watch her struggle with words like “mindfuck”) and added her own amusing analysis. Update: The site is down for now, she says she’ll put it back up someday, but that her kids “can read”. Check back in 20 years when the shame subsides; I’ll post a link when it’s back up.

3 Comments

  1. Avatar
    FunnyHaircut
    November 21, 2016
    Reply

    “Vols fer un clau?” does not mean “Wanna put a nail in it, babe?” It is a very straight sex proposition. If you are teaching to tourist to go around asking this questions to anyone, they propably will get kick in the balls.
    Very very poor article.

    • Mose
      December 30, 2016
      Reply

      But dear me, I have to disagree! My article was excellent! You also haven’t understood it…
      L’article deixa molt peró molt clar que aquest es una proposició de sexe i que s’hauria d’usar només com broma. No et preocupis!

  2. Avatar
    May 25, 2016
    Reply

    Catalan girls are quite sexy (even with their funny haircuts & grunginess). I need to go hang out in Barcelona 😉

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