Flirting in Catalan: Pickup Lines that Are Ridiculously Cliché, Stupid, and Fun

by  Mose Hayward
LAST UPDATED ON  2023-12-01
PUBLISHED ON  2012-04-19
Hotass Catalan girls scared the bejesus out of Picasso.
Hotass Catalan girls scared the bejesus out of Picasso.

The world’s sexiest women are Catalan. They’re gorgeous, laid back, kinda grungy, and infinitely sweet.1 So what do you gotta do to bang, smooch, or marry one?

Former dictator Francisco Franco has inadvertently given us a leg up, with the collective mindfuck he caused by banning the region’s language. Today’s Catalans get very excited about foreigners who take the trouble to learn it. And if you don’t have time to master the mother tongue of these 11.5 million hotties, you should at least learn some toasts and the following pickup lines to try on any cute Catalans who cross your path.

An obvious warning: do not use these lines if you are actually Catalan. As we noted in France, using a pickup line in your own language is a dubious move. A foreigner struggling through such a cheesy line, however, is endearing; he or she shows wit, irony, and a winning effort at cultural awareness.

So here they are, Catalonia’s classic, panty-dropping best:

Estudies o treballes? — So, do you work or study?

Vols fer un clau, noia? — Wanna put a nail in it, babe?

(Overdue) Update in 2023: Piropos

There has thankfully been a lot of talk in Spain and Catalonia about the Spanish word piropos, which means both compliments and cat-calling, or, more properly, street aggression. More and more, mainstream conversation is pointing out that yelling about a passing woman’s looks is not a compliment, but rather a form of aggression.

This post deals with neither. It assumes that a mutually desired and participated-in flirty conversation is already taking place, and that a non-Catalan may want to learn the amusing, clichéd, dated Catalan expressions for taking things up a notch.

Note for Catalan readers

The blogger El Rat, who has translated parts of this post (watch her struggle with words like “mindfuck”) and added her own amusing analysis. Update: The site is down for now, she says she’ll put it back up someday, but that her kids “can read”. Check back in 20 years when the shame subsides; I’ll post a link when it’s back up.

  1. Catalan girls quite nearly destroy their inimitable sexiness with haircuts ranging from dorky short bangs to full-on mullets. If you can manage to overlook the hair, and possibly also the brightly colored, low-crotch saggy pants they love to wear (known popularly as pantalons cagats, or shitted pants), you’ll surely agree with the premise of this post. ↩︎

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3 thoughts on “Flirting in Catalan: Pickup Lines that Are Ridiculously Cliché, Stupid, and Fun”

  1. FunnyHaircut

    “Vols fer un clau?” does not mean “Wanna put a nail in it, babe?” It is a very straight sex proposition. If you are teaching to tourist to go around asking this questions to anyone, they propably will get kick in the balls.
    Very very poor article.

    1. But dear me, I have to disagree! My article was excellent! You also haven’t understood it…
      L’article deixa molt peró molt clar que aquest es una proposició de sexe i que s’hauria d’usar només com broma. No et preocupis!

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